Somewhere around the age of 25, hangovers got real for me. Like, I’d wake up after a night on the town and would just be ruined for the rest of the day until I had something greasy.
Eventually, you figure out the best places for hangover cures so you can live through the hangover. Check out this list for my favorite Portland hangover cures!
Ruski’s Tavern
Living in the West End definitely had its perks. For one thing, it lead me to classic dive Ruski’s Tavern. I won’t lie, I spent many a Saturday and Sunday morning drinking their giant pint sized mimosas.
But even more than that, let’s talk about their Hangover Special. It’s a lot of food but it’s exactly what you need when you’re hungover:
Hangover Special: $8.75
- 2 eggs
- hash
- homefries
- toast
Trust me, runny eggs, thick toast and a mountain of hash is just what the doctor ordered for this hangover! Now, if you’re not feeling the Hangover Special, which could happen, you could always go for Ruski’s other classic: the Sausage Gravy and Biscuits for $8.95, and $1 each to add eggs.
If you’re doing biscuits and gravy right, especially for a hangover, you’ve gotta get eggs! If you can’t tell from my Instagram, I love sunny side up and fried eggs.
All about that #yolkporn plus a runny egg is even better when you mix in sausage gravy. There are plenty of other places for biscuits and gravy but we’ll have to cover that in another post.
Bottom line: find 2 hangover cures at Ruski’s Tavern plus giant mimosas for some hair of the dog.
Bubble Maineia
Okay, so one of the reasons you get hungover is being dehydrated. Many people have some strange hangover cures. PediaLyte, Vitamin B before bed, guzzle a bottle of Gatorade before passing out…the list goes on and on. So recently, I discovered a great way to rehydrate while hungover is with bubble tea.
Look, I’d drink bubble tea sober, drunk, or just because, but seriously, there is something rejuvenating about Bubble Maineia’s bubble tea. Now if you want to copy me, I always order the Thai Tea bubble tea.
I’m obsessed with any form of Thai Tea, and I’m not afraid to show it. Bonus points when I discovered Bubble Maineia uses dairy-free creamer in their bubble teas, so I can drink it without needing a prayer (or a million Lactaid pills).
The other important part of the Bubble Maineia hangover cure is a pork bun. A pork bun combined with a cold and sweet Thai Tea bubble tea is now one of my favorite hangover cures, possibly ever.
As if it could get any better: the two combined is just under $10, so you don’t even need to feel guilty! So long, hangover.
Silly’s
There’s plenty that you could order at Silly’s and help a hangover I’m sure. But if you need to get hydrated and fast, you need a Silly’s milkshake. Sadly, this used to include a soy ice cream option, but they are not currently available.
But take a Lactaid pill and get ready for the best milkshakes in town. Seriously. You’ve got flavors like Montezuma’s Revenge with cayenne, cinnamon, and chocolate which is basically like a frozen Mexican hot chocolate in milkshake form. YES.
Or the What’s Shakin’ Bacon, with peanut butter and bacon. How could you possibly go wrong with hangover cures like these? Answer: you can’t! You’ll be rehydrated and ready to take on the day in no time at all after one of these.
Tomaso’s Canteen
When it comes to a bad hangover, I’m grasping at straws for anything greasy to settle my stomach and make me feel human again. Let me tell you, when you’re hungover at 27, that’s no small feat!
That’s precisely why the Tomaso’s Canteen Dominator breakfast sandwich is a must. It features: double egg, double cheese, bacon, sausage, and maple-sriracha mayo. Hello heaven.
Look, if a double egg, double cheese, double meat breakfast sandwich doesn’t do it for you, you might just want to go back to bed. Because this is one of the Portland hangover cures you can’t ignore.
Punky’s
At my company’s Christmas party, plenty of wine was flowing. In a new record, I drank 7 glasses of wine. And then I left at 9:30 pm and went home to pass out.
Needless to say, I woke up the next morning and was extremely hungover. Yes, my Christmas party was on a Thursday, so I had to go work that Friday.
That hangover was rough. Like I woke up in the middle of the night, peeled off my dress, passed out naked, and then guzzled a bottle of water hungover.
It was the hardest Friday of the year to get through. So when lunch rolled around, I needed something. Preferably greasy and able to give me life.
Enter Punky’s. I had a giant portion of their chopped suey, the New England kind. Not the Chinese dish that has water chestnuts in it. I promise you, if you grew up in the Midwest like me, this is totally a thing!
Anyway, Punky’s was there for me, and it got me through the last 3 hours of work after lunch. All thanks to that chopped suey. Trust me, I’ll be back. I might even go when I’m not hungover, just because I enjoy their food. Crazy, right?
The Holy Donut
And let’s not forget the OG hangover cure, the bacon cheddar donut from the Holy Donut is AMAZING. Like hot damn. Bacon and cheddar go together. It’s just a thing.
Now, the problem with this “donut” is it’s a hot commodity. I love it, but so do a lot of other hungover Portlanders. So to make sure you get it, come early.
Otherwise it’ll sell out and you’ll be beyond sorry. Meanwhile, your hangover will continue to suck you dry.
Look, there are plenty of places that you can go to cure your hangover, but these are the hangover cures that I come back to, each and every time. Not a fan? Let me know in the comments where you go in Portland when you’re hungover!
